Talking to kids about the riots that happened on the US Capitol

After the riots at the US Capitol earlier this week, many parents are wondering what to say or not say to their children. The events brought to light issues of white supremacy, racism and unequal enforcement of justice. The images of how law enforcement engaged with rioters on the Capitol were in stark contrast to how last summer’s peaceful protesters for racial justice were treated and described. For many parents viewing the news, it was clear that the lack of equal treatment under the law was due to race and privilege. The difference being that the rioters this week were predominately White. 

Parents of color have a long history of talking to their children about racial injustice, and the beginning of this new year has many shaking their heads that they have to yet again have these conversations. The events of this week provide an opportunity for all parents to have these essential conversations about racial inequities.

Below are recommendations and strategies for all parents to help children deal with this week’s events. Recommendations adapted from HealthyChildren.org.

Tip 1. Check in with your feelings. Are you anxious? How are you feeling about what you’ve seen and heard? How are you coping? It’s important to think about your feelings and your mental health. Self-care is paramount and models for your children that it’s important that we care about our mental health. Also, if you’re not emotionally ready to have the conversation, it’s okay to prioritize your mental health. Let your kids know that you’re not avoiding the conversation but that you also need to process and let them know that you will talk with them. 

Tip 2. Ask your children questions to learn about what they know and how they’re feeling. Asking your children questions will help prepare you for addressing the issues they are most concerned about and provide information about how they’re coping. 

Tip 3. Answer your children’s questions in an age appropriate way. The simpler the answers the better, even if they lead to more questions.  A lot of times it is more important to answer your children’s questions than to provide them with all the information that you as a parent have. What children want to know is not always what we adults think they need to know. 

Tip 4. It’s okay not to have all the answers. You kids may ask you questions that you might not know how to answer. Let them know that their question is important and that you will work to find the answer to their question. 

Tip 5. Talk about race and racism. Be open and honest about your feelings and listen to your children’s thoughts and questions.

Tip 6. Check in with your children’s feelings. 

Tip 7. Limit viewing of the news. Parents and kids should limit the amount of news they’re watching or listening to as the constant exposure can add to stress, anxiety and depression. 

Tip 8. Always look for the helpers. Even in a difficult situation like the one that evolved, there are always people helping and caring for others.

Tip 9. Focus on the positive events in such a terrible situation; for example the fact that the legislators returned to do their work after the situation was under control. Highlight the unity of many at the Senate and the House and the fact that there is some diversity among the members of the Senate and the House.  

Talking with our children lets them know that someone cares about how they’re feeling, that they matter and that they are not alone. 

Resources:

Talking To Your Children About Racial Bias

Responding to Children’s Emotional Needs During Times of Crisis

Talking To Children About Tragedies & Other News Events

Talking to Kids about the attack on the Capitol

4 Steps to Help Kids Push Back Against White Nationalism

11 Tips to Help Children Process The Storming of the Capital Building

Source: Adapted from HealthyChildren.org article Talking to Children About Tragedies & Other News Events https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Talking-To-Children-About-Tragedies-and-Other-News-Events.aspx

Authors:

Jacqueline Douge, MD, MPH is a pediatrician, writer and speaker. She is the creator and host of What is Black? a podcast that addresses issues important to raising healthy and thriving Black children and teens. Learning To Love All of Me is her first middle grade novel.

Diego Chaves-Gnecco MD, MPH is a Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrician, Associate Professor at the University of Pittsburgh, School of Medicine, Director and Founder of the program Salud Para Niños at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center (UPMC) Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. Dr Chaves-Gnecco is also a founding faculty advisor of the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine (SOM) Latino Medical Student Association (LMSA) chapter. He is also a member of UPMC Physician Inclusion Council, the University of Pittsburgh SOM Diversity Committee, the Dept. of Pediatrics Diversity Committee and the Pediatric Residency Diversity Committee.

Dr. Chaves-Gnecco's clinical and academic interests include the diagnosis and treatment of children with Autism and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, providing care to families and children with disabilities, providing care to children from minority and underserved populations and addressing barriers to health care access. Dr. Diego has been honored with several recognitions for his work and for his services to the community.

Logan Beyer is a second year MD/PhD affiliate student at Harvard Medical School who aspires to work at the intersections of health care, housing, and public health. Additionally, she is a writer and illustrator, and at the beginning of the pandemic she combined these skills to co-author children's coloring books on COVID-19. See more of her work at coloringforcovid.com, and follow her on Twitter at @LoganNBeyer.