Again

My son told me about George Floyd.  He told me how George Floyd died. How George Floyd was murdered. I’m struggling because it happened again, Black lives being taken without regard for their humanity. I’m struggling because my son told me about George Floyd’s death. I’m struggling with the fact that I had to again have another conversation with my son about a Black person murdered, a Black man murdered, about injustice against Black lives.

Again, we talked about the injustices and again I heard his perspectives, his insights, his understanding of what happened and continues to happen to Black lives. But as I reflect on another conversation, I have to admit I’m glad we had the conversation. Not because I enjoy the topic of conversation, racism, but because my sons feel comfortable to talk about these hard topics. They can come to us and ask questions.

When my kids were younger, I never imagined that I’d have to talk so much to my kids about racism and intolerance. It seems like for the last decade, our dinner conversations have been touched and at times taken over by the topic of racial injustice. There was no way to avoid the conservation given events at school, news and social media. 

So again, I talked with my son about another incident. He led the conversation as he now frequently does. I listened. I heard his perspectives and opinions.  We had discussions. I now understand how all those prior dinner conversations led to this moment. The moment my son told me about George Floyd.  

The recents deaths of  Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd are blatant acts of injustice. Their deaths bring up hurt, anger, confusion, rage, and disbelief. It’s confounding that in 2020, the spotlight is on how devalued Black lives are. I’m tired of having the conversations about another life lost, another Black life. But as tired as I am, as a parent, when my child wants to talk about another death, I listen. I have the conversation, because I’m reminded why I openly talked to my kids about race, racism, social justice. I want them to be upset. I don’t want them to become desensitized to injustice. I want them to feel comfortable to come to me or their father to ask questions, to process, and to teach us.

Conversations about discrimination and racial bias are difficult but it’s important that we have these conversations. These conversations are opportunities to validate the feelings and experiences that children are dealing with, critically think about who they are and are seen, provide opportunities to help them think about how they fit in the world and how they might make a difference. 

Unfortunately, there will be more reports about racial incidents. And again, I will have a conversation with my son. But, I’m certain that all the conversations that we’ve had, have helped to shape the man he is today.