Self-Compassion: A way to manifest Black Joy

Why is it easier for us to give words of encouragement to our family, children, friends and strangers? Do we think that we’re not worthy of the same treatment of ourselves? I know this has been a way of thinking that I’ve fallen into. It got me thinking about how has this thought process showed up in my life and as a parent.

I often talk about modeling for our kids the things that we want them to do and achieve and I did some inner self-reflection. I’ve modeled showing compassion to others and them. I realize that I’ve done it less for myself. The are several excuses I’ve thought of for not providing myself the same compassion. “I don’t need to tell myself how great I am.” “It’s being boastful to say all the things I’ve done and do.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not worthy.”

I’ve realized the constant themes of not being good enough and worthy. It seems to come down to these common denominators.

It’s become a habit not to practice self-compassion. The habit of hyping others has been the muscle that I’ve built at the price of hyping myself. Instead, I choose to practice humility. I didn’t want anyone to think of me as prideful or arrogant. Humility was my strength. I’d learned from my childhood and experiences that to be humble was a virtue. I somehow mixed up the messages that to be humble, I had to dim my own light.

But there’s a price to dimming one’s own light. I think about when you enter a room with a light dimmer. The brighter the light makes it easier to see and when the lights are turned down, the room darkens and it’s harder to see. Not only is it harder for you to see forward but also for the others that are with you.

I’ve been thinking more about self-compassion. The idea of being kinder to myself. The alternative is exhausting. The energy I spend practicing humility, is energy that I can use to brighten and glow. In addition, practicing self-compassion has so many benefits.

• Improved health

• Lower levels of anxiety and depression

• Improved well-being

I am grateful everyday for the friends, family, my kids and strangers that share their kind thoughts and affirmations. They remind me that I’m worthy and am enough. I drink them in to renew my spirt and fuel my inner light. Filling my cup so that I help myself and help others.

The habit of self-compassion can be learned. When we learn this vital skill for ourselves, think about the impact it will have on others around us. As a parent, think about what our children will learn. I also am learning about the role self-compassion plays in feeling and experiencing joy.

This week’s episode about Black Joy, rekindled my desire to practice joy. My guests, aka Sister Circle, Kellie Carter-Jackson, Sheretta Butler-Barnes, Jennifer Thompson and Lynette Mawhinney shared how they practice joy through self-care. Taking time for ourselves is one way we can practice self-care. Another way we can practice self-compassion are offer words of encouragement to ourselves like we offer to our friends family or children.

Self-compassion and joy will become my new practices. I’m worthy and am enough is my new mantra. Acknowledging and affirming myself are my acts of courage. I’m Glowing Up. This is how I choose to manifest Black Joy.