Forgiveness
Who is worthy of forgiveness? Could I forgive someone who committed a horrible hurt against me or my family? What have I taught my kids about compassion and forgiveness? These are questions I’ve been asking myself since reading about, and watching, the video of Brandt Jean hugging Amber Guyger during her sentencing for killing his brother, Botham Jean. I wept after hearing Brandt’s words of compassion and forgiveness; I can’t imagine the courage and strength required to do so. When I came home last night, my family and I discussed what happened and we all had different views but we were all struck by Brandt Jean’s ability to forgive.
His act of forgiveness is so complex due to the circumstances and context which are the intersections of racism and police violence, make it nearly impossible for anyone to forgive. I think there are many who would not have questioned it had Brandt Jean not forgiven the woman who killed his brother. But yet, there are those who question his act of forgiveness. These different reactions prompted the questions I asked myself.
I began to think about how and what I’ve taught my kids about forgiveness and what I learned as a child. I’ve taught my kids to forgive others and they’ve learned the lessons of forgiveness in their Sunday school classes but what if I or they were tested beyond the everyday transgressions of a friend telling a lie or someone hurting our feelings. What would I or they do if someone committed a horrible act against them or someone they love? Is there a limit to forgiveness?
Forgiving is not always easy. It’s made harder when one thinks about the history Black people having to to forgive centuries of systematic racism and marginalization. In an NPR article about Brandt Jean, Bernice King is quoted, “But don’t confuse his forgiveness with absolving this nation for its gross, bitter discrimination against Black people in a myriad of its systems and policies. Racism and white supremacist ideology cant be ‘hugged out'.” As a Black parent, this weighs on me that the implicitness of racism is the one thing I haven’t mentioned in the lessons on forgiveness with my own children. I’ve never told my children that they can’t or shouldn’t forgive someone because of [fill in the blank], but this week I have been challenged. As a parent, I have been challenged to rethink my beliefs and lessons to my children.
Brandt Jean and his parents have taught me an important lesson about forgiveness.
Reference:
Photo: Reuters via NPR. https://www.npr.org/2019/10/03/766866875/brandt-jeans-act-of-grace-toward-his-brother-s-killer-sparks-a-debate-over-forgi